Sacred Tourniquets of Vengeance

“Merely a sin,” I said to myself. The faint shrill of crickets and descending howls of nocturnal creatures echoed in the midst of darkness as I crept out of that desolated place. I was subjected to temptation, and my thoughts grew sinister as I kept myself firm and conscious while dragging my body through a seemingly eternal journey I would never forget. I could see her enigmatic apparition emerged from the intricacy of my mind, stealthily bringing it in jeopardy. I was then filled with fear and I knew that my sense of foreboding was playing games once again.

Then, the case was filed relentlessly against me: I pleaded guilty. I stood before the court of mockery without a word, I was then petrified and my body shivered with intense magnitude. The wrath prophesied against my useless state poured its curse on my fate at the moment of that epiphany. I had not realized that I turned egocentric during the past few hours of addictive enjoyment in disguise, leaving me panting along my path. My entire body was bleeding, probably an aftermath of that burning furnace I desperately went through numbingly scorching my conscience.

A moment of small selfish motives sprung into innumerable consequences. At that instance, I could faintly hear her sing a ballad of chaotic revelations leaving me corrupt as seconds seemed to last forever. My alacrity to escape the destinies conspired behind my back was disabled and the foundation of my vowed words lied in ruins. I felt inferior for doing such act of dishonesty against her, so inferior that the infernal powers of darkness which once I was immune to began to consume myself whole. “I lied to her,” I whispered silently at the point of breaking myself apart. I loath those words, yet I repeatedly muttered them with much agony in my destruction.

The demon I am often susceptible to once again stood glorious in sealing my helpless soul inside its diabolic cells of delusions and inanity. His resonating light of blasphemy and the ambience he manifests is an immortal weapon of temptation and obscurity. The being summoned from the netherworld is extremely versatile in nature, able to lead the innocent with ease to the road of Death, itself. This fellow could imprison anything liable to its trap; as soon as you follow his path, your mind turns obfuscated and everything seems to be obsolete. I, once again, was a victim of his lust; a minuscule prey that staggers to escape the numbness it might bring. He is the cause of my destined destruction; he made me utter these lies of vengeance; he made her cynical overnight; and he resurrected the forgotten past of my character. I feebly blame him for my torment, and for the unbearable pain he caused me to suffer.

My downfall was irreversible. I sat there like a shallow pool of water filled with shame and regret, waiting to disintegrate as her burning anger boiled my bleeding heart to death. No one can save me from my fate except myself; that night, I could see the Angel of Death lurking around the corner, planning an assault that I undoubtedly couldn’t stop. I had nothing to do but wait for the unknown. Running away was not my option; I have to fight to preserve my dignity. I expected the final blow to come sooner or later, a blow that would fatally bind my soul with a malignant force for eternity.

But, as I was to breathe my one last breath of existence, she closed her eyes. Then, she turned idle, and her wrath seemed to wane. She wept there with the pain she had been hiding all this time, and the guilt inside my self grew invincible as it softly killed me. I was struck to death. My naivety grew absurd, and I felt empty. She cursed me for this eternal flame she must offer without hesitation; she cursed me for the sweet agony I forged for her; she cursed me for the truth that her existence is useless and null without her imperfect lover. Love still conquered her immortal wrath; the love that united our soul since creation broke through all circumstances, and its will forever will not cease.

She gave me serenity once again, and I was silenced by her radiance. Her forgiveness was enough to lull my restlessness to a peaceful sleep. I was engulfed by her presence, the presence that haunts me day and night. A moment after, I felt complete and intact once again. I marveled her understanding; no one had ever done something so impetuously unconditional for my sake. My death was proposed that very moment and the prophecy of my destruction vanished in the realms of the forgotten.

I reminisced for a while, devouring the assumptions I’d deliberately created. I cried myself to sleep as I leaned on her shoulder. My tears did not resemble pure joy or sadness; instead, it was an amalgam of emotions. “All is well,” she whispered gently as tears streamed down her face. Lying on my bed while listening to some classics of Dashboard Confessionals, my mind wandered obtusely on the wilderness of my acute imagination. But still, I was thankful for the painful bliss she caused me, and for her unfailing love leaving me awed and amazed always. This love, this is my tourniquet.

The day had ended, tomorrow is yet to come. I may not know what it might bring, another scar? Another battle? I don’t know, but I’m certain it is unpredictable. Yes, she left me tranquil, but it would take time for my wounds to heal completely. I was maimed by that experience, and eternally it will bring melancholy. I placidly reflected once again that night. I looked back to that desolated place I was in a few hours ago, and it still manifests the horror and nightmare it caused me. Though our bond stood unbreakable, the elusive question that reminds me of the demon’s name will haunt my conscience every time I enter the dark labyrinths of his abyss…Now I may overcome evil and profanity, but I will never forget the question that started it all…



“Pwede ba akong magDOTA?”